covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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