i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I got her a Nickelback box set.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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