Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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