I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
