you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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