Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
