after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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