I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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