Your dad touched me again.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
