belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
