If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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