I have demons in me.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
