Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
