I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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