There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
