All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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