you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
