I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
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She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
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we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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