so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
