Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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