This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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