After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
