whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
