I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.