A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
