Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
