I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
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