Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i think i have two assholes
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
