I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
