Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
