what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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