Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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