my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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