ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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