I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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