i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
