Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
