Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize