That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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