How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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