The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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