I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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