Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
