PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
