Umm I'm too high to move.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Houston, we have a blender
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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