They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
