But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
