When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
