You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
as a side note pls kill me
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
