I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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