i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
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I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
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He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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