How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize