He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
