fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
