my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
