So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
