if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
