WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
home. puking in laundry basket.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
