So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
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His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
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Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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