im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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