so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just got carded by a ten year old.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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