Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
