Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
