We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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