Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
