Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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