Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
